What I Saw of HURT 2013

As always, I will start with words of mahalo.  I entered this year's HURT only to drop my spot to pace a good friend to help pace him to his first belt buckle, but when he dropped too because of an injury, I asked to reenter.  This was inspired by the wisdom and push of Nick Hollon, and I'm really glad I let him talk me back into the race.  I wasn't too sure if I'd be any good this year and felt my preparations were barely worthy of a marathon but all my self doubt was met, matched, and surpassed by the love and support of my friends and family.  My sister flew out from Columbus again and left her family and job and routine to come out and help me complete another HURT.  She rocked as my crew and if nothing else, this weekend is now a tradition of a pretty sweet adventure for the two of us and it's good to see my sister.  She made the aid stations a quick and easy evolution.  The aid station volunteers likewise rocked the house and their enthusiasm and menus are world class.  Thank you if you stood watch all day and night and day at an aid station or did the HURT patrol.  I had three people step in last minute to pace my fourth and fifth loops.  I made very little effort to secure their company because I am stubborn and terrible at asking for help but Michele and Cheryl helped out and canvassed the night owl talent at the aid stations.  Shell and Cheryl, thank you.  Thank you Keith Moon, Nick Kaiser, and Mosi Smith for last minute mileage.

Prerequisite Reading

HURT consists of five 20 mile loops with approximately 5,000 feet of up and down per loop for about 25,000 feet over the one hundred miles.  There are three aid stations along the course: Makiki Nature Center (miles 0, 20,40, 60, 80, 100), Manoa aka Paradise Park (7, 27, 47, 67, 87) and Nuuanu or Jackass Ginger (13, 33, 53, 73, 93).  They are filled with amazing volunteers and crew members and drinks, ice, ultra gourmet fare with an amazingly vegan-friendly selection.

Runners have 36 hours to finish 5 loops.  The course record going into this race was just over 20 hours set by the Amazian Canadian Gary Robbins and for the women just over 24 hours by another Amazian Canadian Tracy Garneau.  Average finish time is closer to 33 hours for most people.

Offseason to Go

My sister flew in on Wednesday night and adjusted to the time difference and entertained herself on Thursday while I rode in for my last day on the ship until leave started and I entered full race mode.  I rode home stupidly fast that afternoon and gawked at my speed and felt pretty freaking rested, bordering on over rested and under trained.  I didn't feel like I had the best work up for this race but wasn't about to waste my sister's time and carbon footprint so I put on a good face and conjured up the mojo as we went about our preps for race day.  There is nothing like laying out drop bags or writing pace charts out to stoke that fire.

We went to the briefing and check in with the other runners and crews sealed the deal: I was through the roof excited for the chance to run.  I put my doubts behind me and decided the legs I got are gonna have to do.  I stopped stressing the run ahead and knew regret and picking apart how little I specifically trained was wasted energy.  It was awesome to see old friends and catch up with people.  There were tons of wicked talented runners, including some of my favorite ultra runners.  Shell and I got home from the brief and made a lot of plants for a power food dinner, got drop bags finalized, and we made a last minute change to my gear that I thought was a little risky but I tested out my pack with out a bladder and used only hand bottles.  I zoomed out of my apartment still in jeans and flip-flops to see if I liked the arrangement.   I zoomed back in excited to to use it tomorrow but loaded my drop bags with a camel bak or actual hand held just in case.  Shell was stoked on this stroke of brilliance because in past races volunteers usually comment how freaking heavy my pack is.  This year I wanted to go lighter and faster.

Gear ready, power plants coursing through my system with pedialyte and nervous dreams of oversleeping alarms, I slept fitfully until 4:30 a and awoke to Happy HURT day.

Loop One.  Miles 0-20.

Shell and I stepped out of the car into the frigid Hawaii predawn cold and made our way to the nature center.  I didn't offer to carry the drop bags because I knew she wouldn't let me carry them and I wanted to save being stubborn for when I'd need it.  I checked in and stood around bantering and cracking jokes.  I revealed my secret weapon for speed: I shaved my forearms the night before because I needed to be as aerodynamic as possible.  My friends Ashley and Robyn and Kevin showed up to see us all off and were impressed with how soft and smooth my arms were.  I was excited to see them and show them a little of what ultra running is about.  We were summoned to the bridge for a final briefing, national anthem, and the waiting game for that blessed release from our tapers.

Finally at 6 am we shot off and I kept a steady pace up hogsback with no rush or worry.  I wanted to run conservatively and steadily all race for a 27 hour finish.  I had a feeling 27 hours was going to make me very competitive on the women's race but I specifically didn't want to get caught up in anyone else's pace and actually wanted to sit back in maybe 3rd or 4th until late in the loops and then keep up the steam and pass.  I knew that was going to take a lot of patience and discipline to run that restrained and cool but I relied on my 100 miler experience and on HURT's trails specifically. This was my 10th run of this scale.  Stay cool and run smart.

I cruised along the trail and mostly alone at my own pace.  I shut off my light and watched as Candice Burt zoomed ahead on a climb and I just let her go.  I didn't let myself sweat anything until loop 4.  Before too long I saw her stop kinda suddenly and asked if she was ok.  She looked like she was in some pain and a little worried about a rolled ankle.   She kept moving but I passed her and didn't look back.

Up to the top of tantalus in 40 minutes.  I decided to wear my little nike sport band because I realized knowledge is power and if ultimately my goal was 27 hours I needed to be aware of the time of day.  I typically don't run or race with any timing device but I shaved my arms and dropped down to hand bottles... I was going to employ every trick I could to help myself out what for my lack of training.

Hold the phone.

I kept hearing myself say "lack of training" and "unprepared" and "wtf am I honestly doing out here" and recognized those as toxic thoughts with no place in my race plan or room in this beautiful weekend with my sister and ultra runners out on gorgeous trails.  I cut it out and only told myself I'm on pace for 27 hours.  I am a HURT runner and a solid 100 miler on the most experienced set of legs I've ever taken into a race.  I love this event and these trails and I was born to move long distances.  Also, my arms are so smooth and I glide over the trails.

I ran happy through the rest of the climb and then down through Puaoa Flats and the switchbacks to Manoa where I showed up as first woman.  I always show up a little fast on loop one so I joked around with Cheryl at the A/S that at least this was part of the plan this year.  I quickly refilled my bottles, ate even though I wasn't too hungry because plants fuel the run.  I took off to run up until the switchbacks slowed me down and I said my huzzahs to the down trail traffic.

I climbed strong up and out but knew if I felt bad doing it that was just part of the game.  I wasn't going to beat myself up for a second if that climb manifested itself as burning calves or empty quads.  I just pulled my trucker hat down low and watched the roots, rocks, and mud reveal the line up the mountain as I climbed.

Coming down to Nuuanu loop 1. 

On the course there are lots of out and back legs so there's lots of opportunity to see people.  I watched the lead guys blaze up the trail making it look easy.  That lead pack was Gary Robbins, Jason Loutitt, and Nick Hollon.  Nick and I just looked at each other like yep, we both know we're going a little too fast and not following our plans.  I felt good going into Nuuanu but heard voices above me in the Enchanted Forest switchbacks.  Sure enough I got caught on the stream crossing by Mel Bos but let her go.  I took a few moments at Nuuanu to eat well and goof around with Shell, Ashley, and Robyn.  I crossed the rocks just behind Mel and the guy she ran in with and watched them tear off down Judd trail.  I wished them siyonara and reminded myself the race starts at loop 4.

I finally saw Mike Arnstein headed down the trail and was amazed he was behind me and not with that lead group.  I have a soft spot spot in my heart reserved only for vegan/vegetarian athletes and he makes a name being wicked fast and a fruitarian.  I was bummed (but not as much as him) that he got lost and ran maybe an extra 6 miles.  He had legitimate frustrations but I really hoped he wasn't going to drop because of it and mostly because he's one of my favorite runners in the sport and there's almost nothing to be more unappealing than only being in ultras to win. 

I ran a lot of that last leg with Kevin Douglas from Washington.  He was good company and we actually ran into each other a lot last year at HURT, Badwater, and Cascade.  I dug catching up and shooting the breeze and didn't worry that we ran pretty fast for loop 1.  If you're going to get in trouble you might as well grab a friend.  I rolled into Makiki feeling solid in 1st place and really confused as to where Mel went off to.  I didn't sweat it and instead swapped out shirts, drank a muscle milk, and took off with Kevin for loop 2.

Loop 2.  Miles 20-40

Fresh in a hot pink tank top that saw me through an 85 mile dog fight at Zion, Kevin and I hauled up Hogsback in good time.  I felt pretty uncomfortable with the fast pace sometimes on that initial climb but we settled down and relaxed.  I aimed to be deliberate and run within my means. I didn't want to go out too fast again and bury my legs for the rest of the event.  We finished loop 1 in less than 4:30 and traditionally I pay for it on loop 2.  I kept waiting for that sickness and suffering but I kept up the pace, enthusiasm, and good mood through Manoa.  I ate well off the A/S, put some ice in my sports bra and trucker hat, and took off ready to feel terrible on the climb out to Nuuanu.

We got back in to Nuuanu and I felt the heat climbing as we ran through midday hours.  More ice and plants and a refill on my bottles.  Michele asked what I wanted to drink and I voted double water but she countered with a very reasonable idea of one heed and one water.  I saw the brilliance in that, agreed immediately, and I think caught her off guard with my agreeability.  Wait, you're not being stubborn?  I realized a good decision needed to be made and she was probably the best person for the job.

I humped it out of there into the enchanted forest and up over 5 minute hill a little faster than Kevin but I had a tough time comfortably maintaining his pace on the last three legs so I knew he'd catch up before too long. My favorite stretch of the course is after Puaoa Flats and the fences and I ran hardwhile the sunlight was good and heat not too oppressive.  I didn't worry about the girls looking strong behind me and instead just reminded myself to enjoy the fact that I was winning  the women's race at the HURT 100 for almost 40 miles.  Let's do this.  I had a feeling that when the sunset it was going to give me the advantage because I run well up there at night.  I just needed to stay healthy and stay on course for the remaining daylight hours and I had a feeling I could run away with it.  I didn't berate myself for that thought for coming up "too early" and instead enjoyed that moment's circumstance.

Loop 3.  Miles 40-60

Back at Makiki for the start of my 13th HURT race loop I was pumped up and excited to make as much distance before the sunset on us.  I traded Zion pink for Cascade green because I battled some demons mid race at cascade to overcome a DNF.  Although my head was no where near DNF at all, I still wanted to carry the lessons of Cascade Crest with me on that next loop.  I needed to be patient, climb strong, tough, and not racing at anyone's expense.  I got up Hogsback but it wasn't pretty in the heat and got pretty dizzy and confused about what trail to take at the top.  I shook that off and knew I had to keep it together.  Down on crossover trail Mel Bos caught up to me.  I wondered how I blew an hour's lead but struck up friendly conversation before we were joined by Mike Arnstein again.  We only had a couple hours of daylight left and though Mike was concerned, I assured him it was way less scary than Central Park.  Pretty soon they went to turn down center trail to finish loop 2 and I trucked up the hill with my hour lead still well in tact.

I hustled through the switchbacks into Paradise Park A/S and turned back out quickly to take advantage of the last flashlight free running for the day.  I turned on my lights just past the waterfall on my first HURT and on a lower switchback on HURT 2.  I was amazed to see the top of 5 minute hill in daylight and wondered how long I could prolong not using my light.  I carved down the hill lazy like a snowboarder and wanted only to run light and efficiently.  I heard and saw Nuuanu pop up through the trees and I punched my light on as I hopped on the first rock to cross the stream.  Way faster than last year.

I ran back to the Nature Center feeling physically really solid, excited for a pacer, and  happy and grateful to be running out in front.  I didn't feel 100% confident I had the race all locked up as I know well that there's a lot that can happen in 40 miles but I wasn't worried.  Let's do this.

Loop 4.  Miles 60-80

I made another shirt change and put on my Zion super-runner shirt.  I wore this because I wanted x-ray vision to see well at night and to run strong through another hard loop.  After a muscle milk and not enough food, I hit the trail again but this time with a last minute pinch hitter...but for pacers.  Keith Moon agreed to help out and he was good company even though my legs felt zapped and I made my slowest ascent up Hogsback of my life.  So far so good.

Keith and I made pretty good time over to Paradise Park and I was a little low when I got there.  I committed to eating better (more) and knew I just hit that low because I got low on calories.  I took some plants to go and Michele gave me a goal to eat a stinger waffle plus the express plants by the time we dropped down into Nuuanu.

We ran decidedly less of the trail than last loop but I committed to running until the gradient absolutely forced a walk.  It was important to me on this stretch to make a solid distance because I always see who's behind me and how far.  I wanted to present that I felt strong and was all about keeping the steam late into the ugly hours of the morning and well into the ugly miles of the race.

We passed a couple runners who made their way very gingerly down the rocks.  I heard someone really excited yell they were coming through so I hopped off the trail as much as possible just in time to see Gary Robbins bomb the hill on very fresh legs.  I whooped for him and yelled welcome back.  He was amazing to watch for those brief moments as he zoomed by making it look easy.

We caught some of Gary's enthusiasm and bombed the hill a little faster.  Unbeknownst to me, Keith texted my sister to find another pacer at Nuuanu.  He briefly mentioned he didn't think he had a loop in him but I didn't fully comprehend that because I kinda had the same thoughts but knew there was nothing stopping this party 20 miles shy of a belt buckle. We got across the stream and Gary was still there fueling up for his final leg.  He ran 93 miles for my 73 and looked so happy and like he was having a blast.  He was fun to watch and I was stoked for his return to 100s and impending HURT win.  He's a class act.

Out of Nuuanu I picked up Nick Kaiser as a pinch hit pacer for the leg back to Makiki.  I wasn't too perky or chatty and was all business and not my friendliest out there but I wanted to keep the pace, keep the distance of separation between me and Mel.  I didn't want to hold the lead for 80 miles and then fall apart on loop 5 so I just kept making forward progress and aimed to stay upright.  We got back to the Nature Center with the help of a little pick me up (mega dose of caffeine) and I ate whatever Michele's goal snack was for the leg.  I pulled in and saw Gary already propped up in a chair victorious and stoked through the roof.

Loop 5.  This is for Ashley.  Miles 80-100

World's fastest HURT runner, the spread of plants and non-plants, Mosi Smith who was up to pace me for my fifth loop, and sat down in the chair Shell offered me.  I knew all this to be true: I had an hour plus on Mel, a couple hours of night running left, a trip up Hogsback that was going to kick my ass and start the loop off well, and that all I had to do was maintain.  Stan Jensen told me the girls behind me were looking strong.  I wasn't too worried because I knew they had to beat me.  If I ran a 6 hour HURT  she had to best that with a 5 hour loop.  I had a feeling that was a tall order for all of us mere mortals left on the trail after Gary's amazing finish.  I swapped shirts into my Badwater shirt to channel the strong finish I had there and be grateful that I was currently running the HURT 100 and not 135.

Mosi and I met at Badwater last year and I liked him a lot.  We're both academy grads and love long distance running and were Badwater mates.  He left me a voicemail on Thursday or Friday before the race to say good luck, I think HURT's happening this weekend so you're probably busy but I'm flying in to Honolulu...is HURT on that island even?  I couldn't text or call back fast enough..  OMG PACE ME!  What luck!  He agreed and was even pulling double pacing duties.  He promised me a loop and a loop with another one of his friends.  I felt really lucky to have him around and was not at all worried if any panther hallucinations because I was running with a BAMFtastic Marine.

We crossed the bridge and turned right at the bench to traverse that rooty stretch up to the start of the climb.  I braced him for what was probably going to be my worst little patch of the run.  I let him set the pace and tried my damnedest to keep up.  I soon got wicked dizzy and felt close to passing out.  We stopped for a second and I had to take a seat on a rock and stop my head from spinning.  I saw things going south fast and did not want to waste a second.  Pull. your. shit. together, homegirl.  I really think it was just lack of calories because every Makiki to Manoa leg I bonked a little bit.  Mosi was accommodating enough and just said there's no way I'm letting you quit.  Hell no.  We settled on a substantial and filling dose of 2 salt tabs.  It seemed to work and at least I got my head under control and could get up and hike out of there.  We made it to the top of Hogsback in 16 minutes and I wondered if my 4th time up was closer to that which was the slowest of my life.  Now I'm not sure but am willing to attribute it to a math error.  All trips up that hill are less than 20 minutes.

We trotted down crossover trail and headed up and up until the road crossing.  I glanced briefly at the time and knew we were on pace to crush 27 hours and were going to make it very hard for anyone to catch us.  I wasn't willing to relax yet and that was only going to happen well out of Nuuanu.  No matter because Mosi and I had a pretty good time.  I lead for most of it but once we got to the switchbacks down to Manoa I let him lead.  He bombed the hill with pure athleticism and grace and all I could think was, man I remember loop 1 legs.  He was fun to watch.

Down to the aid station for mile 87.  I ate some rice balls and drank a bunch of mountain dew and coke.  I needed to swap lights, get some vaseline, and turn around quickly to keep chipping away miles.  I was a little light on the calories again and a little moody but largely ok and alert.  Marian Yasuda rushed for the vaseline and in the dark of that Sunday morning the substance looked suspect so I asked if it was badger balm?  Will it burn?  Oh no, honey, it's just bag balm.  Shell swore I said beaver balm but no matter! I grabbed some and almost immediately after application it burned.

WhatthehellamIsupposedtodowiththisburningsensation?!?!
Whythehelldoesbadgerbalmburnsobadly??!? 

I was pretty frustrated but at least any ounce of sleepiness was gone.  I was on full alert and not entirely excited to run with that stuff but I was short a rag or something to help clean it off.  Mosi made the brilliant suggestion we just go run it off and it was a fine idea.

We trucked up and over the switchbacks and I saw Mel when we were about 30 minutes out so I knew I kept the hour lead.  I resolved to stay steady in through Nuuanu and was pretty sure I had the race.  Mosi and I made good time and before I knew it I out ran the burn of the balm and the energy from the plants hit me and I was in a really good mood again.  We crossed the stream in to Nuuanu and had a really quick visit with the aid station.  I ate well and filled only one bottle to go fast and light for the remaining miles.

We said our final aloha and mahalo to Nuuanu and jetted out for the last leg.  I pushed the pace and was amazed to find a lot of zip in my legs, especially since I didn't feel any in loops 2-4.  I saw Mel a little higher on that climb that on previous loops and finally relaxed.  I extended my lead enough I could not worry about any late surge from her and instead just enjoy the last miles of the race of my life.  I passed her and congratulated her.  I think this year's HURT was her 1st 100 and she was on pace for an amazing finishing time.  Up and over five minute hill, down the rolling ridge line, down to Puaoa Flats for that final right turn up the rocks and roots and into the pig fence... Mosi and I ran all the downs and a lot of the little climbs and I knew all the big gut check climbs were behind us.  Four miles to go.   The sun came up and I ditched my trusty little torch and ran harder.  We ran past my favorite bamboo section and I remarked that it's too bad the sun's not up to light this section up...sometimes it makes the bamboo glow bright green and I always think of 311's song golden sunlight.  I realized that was a misplaced regret because it's actually a really good thing we hit that stretch right at sun up because we were moving well.  Down the rolling descents Mosi and I bombed the hills as fast as I trusted my remaining brain capacity to process the best line down the mountains.  I wanted to flow like a snowboarder again and when the intersection at the top of Hogsback came into view I made that right hand turn and launched down the steps.  We cruised past the rock sections and though I was in smell the barn mode, I still slowed to a hike on the last two climbs before center trail.  I saw our final left hand turn and with a healthy lead and 30+ minutes to come in below 26 hours, there wasn't an ounce of pressure or stress.  I ran happy and the trail dumped us into the gravel and maintained section of bridges and I was within a 1/2 mile of the finish of my third HURT, ninth 100 miler, and second win on this course.  We crossed that final bridge and I ran around the ramp and up to that blessed blessed sign.  HURT 2013 for me was over in 25 hours, 41 minutes, and I was the first woman to kiss the sign and 8th runner overall.

Epilogue.  Miles 100 to recovery and reflection

Fifty three runners finished.  I'm so proud that so many people stuck it out this year.  I reconnected with a lot of great runners at the starting line and loved seeing them out on course and even more so that they'd finished.  A huge congratulations to all the finishers, their crews, pacers, and families.  I'm especially happy to report lucky #13 Mike Arnstein, Ken Michal, and Claud Hicks got belt buckles.  Catra Corbett got it done this year.  Hell yeah dirt diva.  I loved running with Huddy, Kevin Douglas, and Brian Hopton-Jones.  I ran the longest stretches with these guys and we had good chats up and down the trails that inspire me to recover quickly to get back out on the trails again as soon as possible.  There is nothing like running at HURT.  The out and back traffic allow for a lot of face time and exchanges for positive energy.  It's a very friendly field and such an uplifting experience to run in this race.  I'm very humbled by the tenacity it takes to run this and am beyond grateful to share the trails with the speedy guys like Gary, Nick, and Jason and especially the gutsy guys who are out there for 36 hours.

Mel Bos and Candice Burt finished in amazing times.  They were both class acts and ran hard and I think inspired a lot of focus and speed out of me.  I'm happy for their breakout times and am excited to see good things from both of them at their next races.  I think back to sage advice from Scotty Mills before the San Diego 100 when he said competitor comes from the latin competere, which means to strive together.  While my legs have shown me they can move 100 miles or more if I ask them to, I think I'm at my best when I'm striving with my fellow ultra runners and especially in a spirit of adventure and communal masochism.  I showed up to run a 27 hour HURT and was ok if anyone was going to come with me.  I know I can never really say I'm not competitive at these things because that's just not true.  I don't ever want to run at anyone's expense though and am not willing to be cut throat out there.  Please hold me to this and if I ever run with you and you find me to be a punk ass who's only in it to associate a number with my day's effort, let me know and I will re-calibrate.  I love this sport and want longevity in it.  I love the people I run with and want them around for the long run too.

It is almost comical how much self doubt I carried into this race compares to my results.  I can only explain it like this: life has thrown some punches that have been harder than anything a trail's shown me (except maybe that one time I ran with Nick in Flagstaff) and the perspective I've gained racing so much, recovering slowly but determinedly from races and punches was enough to keep the forward motion going.  I joked that shaving my arms was going to make me go fast but I think once I identified toxic thought patterns in my head after John said GO and got rid of them, that truly let me run free from pain in my legs and head.  I worked really hard to run happy and be present in each moment.  I was fully aware I led the women's race for all but maybe 4 miles and I was appreciative for that opportunity and cranked up my confidence to hold on to it.  I am grateful for the perfect storm that led me to a 3 hour PR and an overwhelmingly positive experience shared with amazing people.

I wasn't going to run but I'm glad Michele came out to Hawaii and I have people in my life who believe in me.  I dedicated my fifth loop to my good friend Ashley who's a bad ass in her own right and is a champion of a harder cause than running.  I'm very proud of her.  I also made a commitment after last year's HURT that for every race I do I match the race fee with a charitable donation.  I dedicated this race towards mental health and organizations who are out there making it possible for people to receive treatment, enhancing people's self esteem, giving good outlets, and making sure we can all get through this thing together.  If you're out there and you feel like you're climbing up 5 minute hill in the mud but with none of the camaraderie of race day or promise of a beautiful view from the top, hang in there and keep climbing.  Things get better and people help.

Until then, here's to the miles we run and the runners we are with.